Alternative Medicine New

alternative medicine new question by : Trying to invent a new Alternative medicine or treatment. Help?
Having seen the success of other made up medicine like foot-rubbing, water tablets and stabbing people in the back I would very much like to get in on the act.

But I’m struggeling. They have every part of the Market cornered. You can diagnose people by examaning their eyes, feet, buttocks, cranium, hands etc. You can cure anything by wearing magnets, copper, stones, beads, colours. You can consume random herbs, tiger bollocks, hamsters.

They have everything that you can think of to diagnose and cure whatever ails ya. Please think of something I can elbow my way into the Market with. O maybe elbowology? Cure anything you want by rubbing elbows……. With White baite? Help.
Avecenna: actually my question has a rather good point but if you. if you Don’t understand it I’m not explaining it to you.
Edit to my edit. ; still getting used to iPhone typing. Forgive that last sentance.

Thanks for those answers guys. I’ve been in tears of laughter.

Quantum Elbowology it is. It works by attaching a machine of somesort to release chakra something… I’ll work it out.

alternative medicine new best answer:

Answer by Flizbap
Here are some key things:
1. Dress the part, (corporate hippie is what you’re going for).
2. Anything you cannot explain, blame a conspiracy.
3. Use the word energy a lot.
4. Pay lots of attention to the opinion of the person who you are treating, no matter how ridiculous.
5. Emapthize with them, validate their ridiculous opinion.
6. Make them feel like the same quartz crystal that you have used on the last 50,000 people is, in fact, specially attuned just to them.
7. ENERGY.
8. Remeber to state how old this treatment is, and what foreign culture it comes from. Remeber the more obscure the culture, the better (Tip: Himalayan Ghurkas)
9. ENERGY!
10. Above all make sure you are convincing when you’re bilking some innocent trusting person out of the last of their money when they come to you desperate to do anything for their child who is dying from an incurable disease. Don’t want to slip up and show emotion and tell that poor person to actually go home and spend time with heir loved one, when they can be in your office being treated by your “electro-pulse frequency adjuster” for 800$ a treatment!